So this is a topic I have thought about time and time again. It's a topic that has my heart split in two. Finding your place in the world can be quite a road to travel.
Travelling itself is a double edged sword. The good parts are the adventures, discoveries, places and the people you meet. There is nothing like it and nothing that compares to it. The other part is you will always miss someone somewhere in the world. Whether it be friends or family.
My soul yearns to travel and go on adventures yet it also yearns for love and stability. I have no desire to live in SA yet I miss my best friends and family more than I can describe. Its so vast and contrast. I am lucky I found people in the world that love me for me. That miss me whether I am 5 kms away or 500 000 kms away. They understand me and never judge. They laugh with me and at me. We have a kinship like no other. Yet they have each other too. A balance. I am still trying to figure out the balance of self. Its a tough one. I have grown a lot over the past year and a half and found the real me. Yeah we all have stuff we need to work on. This journey never ends.
So what do I do. The balance between responsibility and saying screw it - lets go, is life. Most days I am happy and grateful. I'd say probably 95% of my days. But the other 5% is hard.
There are 3 important areas in my life, Family/Love, Friends and Work. Right now I love my work which is why I don't mind putting in the overtime. The students are fun and funny which brings a different joy to my life, I have not ever experienced before. I knew my friends back home were special and appreciated every moment we have had together, yet I didn't realise it at the same time if that makes sense.
I have about 3 close friends here in Thailand that keep me sane and are close to my heart yet we are all in different parts of our lives.
This may seem like a sad post, but it is not. I am just sharing some thoughts.
When you have that down day, don't worry! A good day is coming which is worth it.
Hold on. There is always light along the way.